Everything about him screamed your future.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
