She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
