it's like russian roulette but with a penis
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will pee on everything he values.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
