Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
