party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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