dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
