you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You made out with two different species that night
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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