my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Never underestimate the power of titties
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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