She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
