everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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