..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
