Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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