About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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