i don't like sucking hair
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize