Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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