Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
