I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
