Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
