I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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