the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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