party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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