Screwed.edu
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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