things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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