So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
