shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
