So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
