so explain again why im purple
no
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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