i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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