Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
