i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's just like the Real World with babies
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
