we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
