And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
