Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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