That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
