Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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