yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
