I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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