I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
