i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
