Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
