um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
