I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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