if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
