Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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