If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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