i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
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Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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