id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
