she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
