I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
