Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
