How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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