Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
