I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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