So drunk its hurt
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Drunk is not a location!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
