happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
