I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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