we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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