some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
