went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
