i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
