i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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