just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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