thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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