all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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