and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
is wine microwaveable?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
