last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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